Mom's Last Three Months of Life

(picture taken in 2021)

I wanted to post about those last three months of Mom's life for memory sake!

September 21, 2023 – Mom fell in the early hours of that morning (possibly around 2 a.m.).  Life Alert called me around 2:20 and Jeff and I hurriedly went over there.  We tried to lift her, but she was in so much pain and the Ridgemere ladies that came said we needed to call 911.  Firemen came and then the ambulance/EMS and took her to Conway Regional.  Kaye and Rob met us at hospital. She was diagnosed with a broken hip (and a UTI) and admitted.  Bev came from Texas that same day.

September 22 – Mom had surgery at Conway Regional to repair her broken hip.  Dr. James Head was the surgeon.  Rachel joined us at the hospital for the surgery 💓.

September 26 – Mom was transferred to Conway Regional Rehab (a block from the hospital)

She was in rehab for 16 days.....Therapists said she did well and with our help could go back home.  Bev had gone home during this time (so that she could return later to help in Mom's care)

October 12^th – Mom was dismissed from rehab and taken to her cottage at Ridgemere (Kaye stayed with her a week and then I stayed a week).  We did her exercises each day much to her dismay.  Also Rob took her several times to Therapy at the Fitness Center.  She did not like therapy!!

It all wore Mom out!

Rachel and kids came to see Grandma one afternoon shortly after getting home from Rehab:

October 22^nd – Bev came to stay with Mom.

WHAT A GIFT THAT MOM (AND HER FAMILY) WERE GIVEN TO HAVE THESE EXTRA WEEKS FOR ALL HER GRANDCHILDREN/MANY OF HER GREAT GRANDCHILDREN AND EXTENDED FAMILY & FRIENDS TO SEE HER BEFORE SHE PASSED AWAY.  THANK YOU, LORD!!

October 22-24 – Andy’s family came from Texas to visit Grandma (and to stay with Papa and DeDe)

October 25 -- That morning Mom fell to the floor as she got up from the toilet (Bev was right there but couldn't catch her).  Bev struggled getting her up, but was able to finally do it.  Mom didn’t think she hurt herself, but then complained about the time to go to therapy that her shoulder hurt.  Bev took her to therapy but the therapist said they would not do anything until she had been checked out.  So Bev took her to ER.  Kaye and Rob were in Kentucky and Jeff and I were in the Ponca Mountains on a Senior Adult trip with very poor cell service 😞.  Got back to town around 5 which was about the same time as Bev got Mom home (tests didn’t show anything broken).  I had picked up some medicine that was prescribed and took over there and we gave it to Mom, only to receive a phone call from the ER nurse a few minutes later, saying don’t give it – that they don’t mix with other meds she was taking!  Too late.  Very rough night for Mom and Bev. 😢

October 26 - Bev called me about 6:20 a.m. and said Mom needed to go to the bathroom but she could not get her up.   I went over there and there was no way we could get her up, so I called 911.  Firemen came, ambulance came and once again Mom was transported to the hospital.  Diagnosed with another UTI.  The ER doctor recommended Hospice because of the fact that the UTI’s will continue since medicine isn’t getting rid of them and we would be in and out of the hospital with her the rest of her life.  They did admit her that morning.  Both the on-floor doctor and the nurse also recommended Hospice.

October 26 – Jeff, Bev and I (and a phone call with Kaye and Rob) agreed to take Mom home on Hospice and only give her “comfort” meds.  Rachel came over and she, Bev and I went to Mom’s house and moved her recliner and got things ready for the hospital bed in her living room.  Kaye and Rob cut their trip short, rented a car and drove home late that night.  Jeff stayed with Mom that night in the hospital (she wondered why her nurse had a patch over her eye 😂--didn't realize it was Jeff).  A neat memory from that night....Jeff said Mom called out during the night, "Oh Harry, it's so good to see you!  I have missed you so much." 💙 (Harry is her brother who died over 4 years ago).

Friday, October 27 – I went up early to the hospital, Jeff came home to sleep, and Bev stayed at Mom’s awaiting the hospital bed, table, etc.  Mid-morning, Kaye and Rob arrived at the hospital.  Mom was dismissed around noon under the care of Gentiva Hospice (who were so wonderful!) and taken by hospital transportation to her cottage at Ridgemere.  She was placed on the hospital bed that day by the EMS (and sadly never got up from that bed again, which she sure hated!).  Many times in the morning, she would tell, whoever of us girls that was with her, "I dreamed last night, I got out of this bed and was walking around and sitting in my recliner again."  😢

Josh arrived in Conway that afternoon to see his Grandma.

Don, Shannan and Shawna arrived in Conway that evening, also to see Grandma.  

Saturday, October 28th – Bev, Don, Shannan, Shawna, Rob, Kaye, Jeff, I, Josh, Rachel, and Eisley all gathered at Mom’s for a sweet visit with lots of laughter and sweet memories.  Mom sure enjoyed that day!

Eisley begged Momma to let her come see Grandma one more time (she did get to see her several times after this, but at the time, we just didn't know).  She loves her great grandma and is blessed to have spent a lot of time with her during her 9 years of life.💗

Mom's girls and her son-in-laws

Monday, October 30^th – Matt and Adrienne came for a visit to see their Grandma.  Another fun visit which we all enjoyed so much!

Tuesday, October 31^st – It was a big day for Mom!!   Family and best friend from Kansas came to see her: Marvin, Judy, Joan, Cheryl, Marsha, Holly and Anita

Mom was so, so happy to see all of them!

One with Rob included.....

We so appreciated Marsha and Cheryl organizing the trip and Marsha driving!  It was a carload!

The only siblings left (all of Mom's have passed, only Dad's side left which Mom was very close to)!  Dad's brother, Uncle Marvin, his wife Aunt Judy, and Dad's other brother, Wayne's widow, Aunt Jo.  None of these 3 are in very good health, which makes me sad!

Mom and Anita "Smith" Melhorn have been good friends for many, many years!

We took a trip to the lake and also a tour of the main building.  They all thought Mom had a very nice place.

Praying over Mom before they headed home!  So good to see each one!!💖💖

Bev left Nov. 6^th  and Kaye stayed

Too funny trying to get a picture with my phone/timer on the counter!😄

Nov. 13^th-27^th – I was at Mom’s. 

 

Rachel’s family came for a visit on Nov. 15^th

Wed. Nov. 22^nd, I fixed  the traditional Turkey Thanksgiving dinner at Mom’s for Jeff and I, Josh and family and Rachel and family (Josh’s family stayed with Jeff on the 21st as they were going to NWA/Michelle's family after our meal on the 22nd).   

Mom's sweet Ridgemere neighbors, Harry and Linda Thomas stopped by to check on her that day

Thanksgiving Day Nov. 24, Kaye's family came for a visit after their meal

Josh and family stopped back by Grandma's on their way home on the 25th

Kaye came to care for Mom on the 27th, so I could go to the Senior Adult conference, etc.  Bev again came on December 3rd and stayed til the 17th.  Bev sure kept the roads "hot" between Tyler, Texas and Conway, AR this year!!  We are so grateful!

Dec. 17th - I went over to Mom’s on that Sunday morning and Bev and I watched the Antioch Choir Christmas musical together and then she headed back to Texas. Bev really thought this would be the last time she saw Mom alive.....

 I stayed with Mom that week and the decline really increased…..

Tuesday, Dec. 19^th – Mom ate a donut, ½ piece of bacon and ½ cup of coffee for breakfast – last food and drink intake.

Dec. 20^th – Started giving Mom liquid morphine and liquid Ativan as she had a hard time swallowing.  Nurse Katie removed catheter as it wasn’t working.

Dec. 21^st – That evening we did a Facetime call with Bev (Rob and Kaye had come by to bring the medicines).  It was our last “real” conversation with Mom.  She talked to Bev (concerned about Don who was traveling home from N.M.; wondered why Bev had a hat on….it was actually her face/FT screen on top of Bev’s head😄).  Kaye said later it was the sweetest demeanor we had seen from Mom in a long time. After we hung up with Bev, Rob was standing beside her bed to tell her goodbye and she said something about, “Having 3 good son-in-laws” – those were her last clear words to us!❤️😢 

December 23^rd – Kaye came to stay with her.

Dec. 24^th – Sunday – Christmas Eve – Kaye sent message that she really felt Mom was nearing the end, neck stiff, no response from her, etc.  So I went over there and we watched the candlelight service together (Jeff and Rob went to church; Bev had her Christmas with her kids and then at Peggy’s that night in Texas).  Kaye had fixed chicken and dumplings and so Jeff and I ate with her and Rob.  

Christmas – December 25^th – Hospice Nurse Katie felt Mom was near the very end.  Jeff and I went over there and then called Bev around 11 to tell her that Katie said if Bev wanted to see Mom alive one last time, she probably needed to come.  They packed up and came to AR arriving around 7…..

Mom was still with us.

Tuesday – Dec. 26^th – When Bev got up, she said loudly in Mom’s ear that she was there.  She said, “Good Morning, Mom.” She completely opened her eyes.  Bev said, “I love you, Mom.”  Mom mouthed (no sound), “I love you!”  Bev said, “I know you loved me and all 3 of your girls soo much because of the way you raised us.”  Her eyes turned and looked straight at Bev.  Don said, “Wow her mind is still with us.”  Such a surprise since we had had no response from her since the 21^st.

There was no further response from her prior to her death.

Wednesday – Dec. 27^th – Bev, Don, Kaye, Rob, Jeff and I – continued to gather at Mom’s bedside.

Thursday – Dec. 28^th – 10 days with no food/water …. Mom’s heart rate was very fast (157!) but blood pressure, etc. still ok.  Rachel suggested that morning that we quit stressing over trying to get a funeral done that weekend/upcoming week but wait and do it the next weekend.  So after we made the decision to not have a funeral that week that took a lot of stress off of us. We convinced Don to go home so he could work, etc.  He left shortly after lunch and headed back to Texas.

The girls encouraged Jeff and I to go over to LR and have Christmas with our family, so we did.❤️Kaye stayed with Bev at Mom’s.  We were going back over to Mom’s after leaving Rachel’s (9:00 p.m.) but things were still the same and they were fixin’ to go to bed.  So we came on home.  Bev slept in the bedroom and Kaye slept on the couch in the living room.  It was all a “God” thing – Don going home; Kaye staying and sleeping in living room as she could hear Mom when she stopped breathing! 

Friday – Dec. 29^th – my 70^th birthday!  I woke around 3:45 just not feeling right.  A few pains in my chest/stomach.  Finally about 4:40, I got up and went to the living room (something I never do!).  Got Jeff’s warm blanket and just got settled in my recliner at 4:45, when my phone rang (4:49). Another “God” thing that I was fully awake for that phone call. It was Bev, “She’s not breathing!”  So I went and woke Jeff up, dressed and we arrived around 5:05 as did Rob.  Mom was finally with Jesus!!! So happy for her!  We then called Hospice and they sent the nurse to make it official with a death time of 4:45 a.m..   Nurse was very sweet.  Tenderly, cleaned Mom up.  Eventually Roller-McNutt came and took her to prepare her body for the Girard Funeral Home to get it in a few days.  We notified family and then came on home mid-morning to shower, get a nap, etc.  Jeff and I then went and spent the afternoon with our family in Little Rock (who hosted a surprise birthday party for me💕)!

We can only imagine how happy Mom was to finally see Jesus, Dad, her son Dwayne and all her family and friends who have gone on before her!  Also to see clearly, to hear clearly, to walk, even run, and to no longer be in pain!  So so happy for her!!  

💖💖💖💖

MOM BROKE HIP SEPT. 21^st (3 months 8 days prior to death)

MOM WENT ON HOSPICE OCT. 27^th (2 months and 2 days prior to death)

 GENTIVA HOSPICE was absolutely wonderful!!  Mom's "main" nurse was Katie and her "main" aide was LaToya!  The Chaplains, Kathy and Joe were so caring and prayed beautiful prayers.  All the others that tended to Mom were also great.  We are so, so grateful for Hospice.  We could not have done those last two months without them!!

Nor could we have survived without all our friends/family who prayed for us, prepared meals and/or brought us sweet treats, gifts, sent cards, texts, Facebook messages and loved us so well!  We were also grateful for Pastors Jason and Shawn who visited Mom and all our Staff who called or texted to check on her almost daily!  Thanks to the sweet ladies from church who visited Mom.  

Thank you all so very much!💕💕

Bev, Kaye and I spent the next 4 days taking care of Mom's affairs, dividing up her possessions between us and the grandchildren, sorting thru pictures etc.  It was a bittersweet time for us!!

😢💓😢💓

We will miss Mom's cottage at Ridgemere!  It was sure a nice home for her and a great place for us to visit her the 4-1/2 years she lived here!

 Funeral Post will be upcoming!