Saturday, November 29, 2025

The Ugly Black Vase

White Elephant/Dirty Santa Gift that Takes the Cake!

The Ugly Vase

From Jeff's biography:

When I was Sr. Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Mesquite, TX, we attended a Sunday School Class Christmas party in December 1991 at the home of Chairman of the Deacons Rick Saunders and his wife, Monica.  That night we played the dirty Santa game and someone got stuck with an ugly black, white, and silver cheap vase.  Instead of taking it home, they secretly left it in the shower of the master bedroom in the Saunders’ home.  Now, it was on like Donkey Kong.

Every class party or church get together after that held in someone’s home, the vase magically appeared.  Each time it was left in someone’s home, the funnier it got.  The amazing thing is that whoever brought the vase and hid it never got caught.

The Chairman of the CBC Deacon Care Ministry was Dean McMillan.  He received the vase at one of the church parties and decided that I needed it.  So, he took the vase to a floral shop, had them put black artificial flowers in it, and then deliver it to me in care of the CBC church office.

After I received this thoughtful and priceless gift, I set it on the altar table in church the next Sunday.  I announced to the congregation that the flowers on the altar that morning were in “memory” of Dean McMillan.  

After the service, I picked up the vase and took it back to my office.  I thought it was over.  Well, it wasn’t—not by thousands of miles.

 The Ugly Vase 2.0

On Tuesday, October 20, 1992, I was on a flight from Dallas, TX to Frankfurt, Germany and just after the captain of the plane turned off the Fasten Seat Belt Light, a flight attendant walked up to me and asked, “Mr. Swart?”  I replied that I was and then she said, “I have a gift for you” and I instantly knew what it was.  I opened the box she gave me and there it was—that ugly vase! Deacon Dean McMillan snuck the vase out of my office at the church and I never noticed that it was missing.  

In the box with the vase was the business card of a Vice-President of Delta Airlines and on the back of the card were the words: “I am not dead, but alive and kicking. Where there is a will, nothing is impossible. I challenge you to bring this vaaze home and top this one, Ha Ha." Dean McMillan went all the way to the Vice-President level of Delta Airlines to get that vase on my flight.  No telling what he had to say to convince them he wasn’t insane on a weekend pass from the Looney Bin and to cooperate with him in this dastardly deed! (yes, this was all prior to 2001.  It would never happen today)!

I travelled through 8 countries on that trip and had to declare that ugly vase every time I left a country! Why? Because who would believe the story I just told you if I didn't have proof?πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ 

I "thought" I retired the vase after this episode, because there was no way could I top that!

The Ugly Vase 3.0

However in 1993, our family traveled in July to DisneyWorld in Florida with 3 other families from our church (Saunders, Christians and Murreys).  Jeff turned 40 while there and when he came in the hotel room the evening of his 40th birthday, this is what he foundπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.  


Our 1993 Disney Group
(such a great trip with so many wonderful memories!)


Today, the vase sets on top of the bookcases in my study as a memorial of a friend who loved me enough to go to a lot of trouble to prank me.  Today Dean is in Heaven and I wouldn't be surprised if he has a prank awaiting me!πŸ˜πŸ’™

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